What's the best way to get fired?

I've been fired once (I deserved it), and I've almost been fired a couple of times (I'm learning I don't make a very good employee sometimes).

Most employees think that their mistakes will get them fired, but unless you have a real crank for a boss - and you own up to your mistakes and don't repeat them, most mistakes won't get you fired.

What gets you fired is attitude - a bad one and lots of it. Bad attitudes show up in a lot of different ways: absenteeism and lateness, poor performance, not caring about your job and being unapproachable. But the worst display of a bad attitude comes in meetings.

Your eyes roll at every suggestion, you act bored and indifferent, you don't participate, you argue and you are generally disruptive. Nothing bothers supervisors, managers and bosses like someone who is disruptive and difficult in a meeting (that was me in an almost-fired moment).

Ian McKenzie at Human Resources 101 lists 5 points of the participant's role in a meeting, and #2 is key: Look confident and interested. If a boss feels that an employee is engaged, happiness follows.

Having attitude problems? Discover the source by looking in the mirror.

Field Guide to Annoying Interviewers and Interviewees: The Swearer

The Swearer (cursus damnerii)

Class: None.

Description: Generally male; female swearers are uncommon but not rare. Swearers are difficult to spot as their plumage is often identical to others. Swearers are more common in interviewees; finding a Swearer as an interviewer is exceedingly rare.

Call: The call is what distinguishes the Swearer from other species. The general speech patterns are interlaced with foul language; common words include sh** and f**k, other words are less commonly used, and range from the more mild d**n to the very offensive (especially to females) ****. As Swearers mature, the level of offensiveness often resides, and more mature Swearers often do not use the identifying language at all, making older swearers difficult to spot.

Notes: Don't. Just don't. However, people who swear often do this as a part of their every day speech patterns and don't realize they are swearing until a word slips out. Unfortunately, at this point, it's often too late. When a Swearer is preparing for an interview, it would be prudent to get someone to monitor the language, or to self-monitor. In the days leading up to the interview, get out of the habit of swearing. The interview is a place where you shouldn't say anything you wouldn't say to your Grandmother (unless she's a Swearer, too).

Spotted an annoying habit in an interviewer or an interviewee? Send your observation to dave (at) officejobs (dot) com

Field Guide to Annoying Interviewers and Interviewees: The Sniffer

The Sniffer (noisyus nostrilus inhalerii)

Class: Generally an interviewee, although this behaviour has been spotted in less professional interviewers.

Description: Can come in many forms, but is primarily identified by red coloration around the nostrils.

Range: Widely found, but most common in northern climates.

Season: Most "Sniffers" can be found in the winter and hayfever seasons

Call: Can be anything to a subtle sniff to a wet snorking sound. The sound is produced by a sharp intake of air through the nostrils. This intake is commonly user to control the flow of mucus in the nose. The sound can be very distracting, irritating or disgusting, especially in interview situations.

Notes: An interviewer can offer a tissue to a Sniffer, although a Sniffer should use their own tissues, and clear the nose before the interview (and wash their hands after blowing). If the Sniffing is constant or persistent, the Sniffer should postpone the interview or take a decongestant or antihistamine a reasonable time before the interview.

Spotted an annoying habit in an interviewer or an interviewee? Send your observation to dave (at) officejobs (dot) com

Is your job too tight across the shoulders?

Yet another great post this week, It's all about the fit from Career Hub:

When an interview doesn't go well, or you don't get a call about your resume, it's the same as trying on a dress that doesn't fit right. It looked great on the peg and you REALLY wanted it, but it just wasn't a good fit for you.

Not every job is the perfect job. Sure, the job itself seems good and the salary is right, but the workplace might be wrong, or you can't mesh with the boss. That job isn't the right fit.

Fit is very important; it's what brings engagement and satisfaction. If the job doesn't fit right, it feels like underwear that binds: uncomfortable in all the wrong places. You won't be happy on the job or at the end of the day. Most likely, you will want to quit after a couple of years, and that's expensive for an employer.

Fit goes both ways. One of the most important things that interviewers look for is whether you will fit in with the organization or not. Every organization has its own culture, and employees that fit within the culture, especially in small companies, are very important. Otherwise, it can throw the balance of the company off.

If you don't get the job you want, it probably wasn't the right fit, and nobody wants that.